thinking back

I write not, in fear I write what has been written before,
I think not, in fear I think what has been thought before,
I say not, in fear I say what has been said .
I fear not, in fear that I am afraid.
I explore not , I dare not
I venture not, I feel not
and so,
I grow not
I stagnate.

slipping into

i am in pain. its unexplainable how much it hurts. i don't do it consciously but i face the brunt of it fully conscious. i am left with ugly scars on my feet which i see everyday and a prominent scar in my mind which i cannot see but definitely feel.

i keep tripping . or to put it better, i keep slipping into other people's shoe. of course they don't fit me ... and hence the ugly scars. but when i wear them, as uncomfortable may i feel, i can't stop looking through their eyes. i can see what they see. i can perceive what they perceive . i can think what they think. and the most painful part, i can feel what they feel.

finally when i can draw myself away from them, i am rendered unable to stand. unable to feel hatred when i should feel so ..... unable to feel love when i should feel so.....it causes "emotional imbalance" in me.

i am forced to be wisely foolish when i want to be foolishly wise. overdose of empathy can be so injurious to action.